Twenties

   It's been 17 years ago when my dad captured her picture. Yes, it's long long time ago and I don't feel I was this cute, lol. But it's true. I don't remember much about my toddler moment, I just remember quite a lot when I went to school for the first time. Who and how I was picked up, lost in the street with my late grandpa. Before that, I don't remember much. I just remember how I was really close to my father, we almost played together everytime. Laughing so much, and I love him so much at that time. It was the time when I found so much fun, without thinking about how dangerous something is. Time was something I never considered. At least, I was happy and that was all.

   The first ten years is just about introduction.

   Introduction to everything: world, family, friends, happiness, sadness, crying, smiling, laughing, joking, etc. Without heavily thinking the heavy life. Seems like tomorrow was always coming, happiness is always in the end, disappointment is something you really mean to, dreaming like it'd come true. But, the fact, in 3 last years of my first ten-years, I found love in my own description, at that time.

   The second ten years is when you learn about life.

   When I first feel my biggest disappointment. I failed for the very first time while love kept going as I grew older. I determined the name of love with my own way and it was developing. I made new friends, new experiences, new stories. I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I fell in love, I felt the ignorance. Then, as I being a high schooler, I knew how to be surrounded by those intelligence people, I made new friends once again, I made new best friends, I crushed my senior, I went out with a boy I used to know in the past, not my first love, we broke up, we lived our own life, I knew how to feel hurt, I cried, laughed, smiled once again, I moved on, I passed my college, lived in a boarding house, made new friends, got my first GPA, I liked someone, I met him, then I like him.

   Life isn't a choice in the end, but the process is our own choices. You're upside down in an unknown world, then you'll know how the real world is. It's easy when we really ready to face it. But, to be ready, I think I sacrificed so many things. I left them behind and try to never look back again.

   And now I'm walking into a door of another 10 years. It's still a gate, I don't really know what's behind. But, I'm sure it's the real life and I should be ready for every probabilities. No more confused to enter what kind of school or college, but now is challenge to get a vacant job as what we've dreamt. No more hot news about friends that is going out with someone she/he likes, but more to an invitations of their marriage, or news about they'll have a baby. No more boy who ask me out as his girlfriend, but he'll propose me in front of my father. No more question "Why don't you ask your parents to give you sister/brother?", but kind of "When will you have a baby?" questions, lol.

   For most people, it doesn't really a big deal. But, for me, well it doesn't a big deal, too. It's such a funny moment when you turn out into more serious people, become more mature. Everything's changing so slowly that we can't see the differences.

   That's why I change some parts of this blog. Actually, I'm still in love with the old title, A Life Note of A Teenager, but I know I'm not a teenager anymore. So does my "About Me" page. I changed some concepts without changing my basic concept of this blog, Universe Conspiracy. I hope I can post something more useful and more interesting next time.

   For people who has wished for my birthday, thank you so much. May Allah listens every prays you mention for me. May Allah bless you all, too. Aamiin. :)

   Honestly, this year isn't that special because... I need to do something more special than everyone does to me. I mean... it'd be special if I can realize what I've planned lately. For making it come true, I still have to wait. I'll patiently wait for the right time, although it has to be next year. Because I can't do it alone with undetermined situation, I just can't be like someone who easily do that even without thinking. I'm to girly to be like him, btw, lol.

   Well, I'm about to open the door. I hope Allah has better and better plan in the future for me, I hope I can fulfill my dreams in this 10 years, I hope when I open the door, someone's waiting behind. Then, I'll hug him tight and I won't leave him until the death separates us in this world.