Happy. Scared. Sad.

   Happy.
  That alhamdulillah finally I could make it: meeting with my oldest best friend, spending an all-day together in my lovely homeland.
   That's the first thing. Second thing, I met my little cute nephews for the first time. They're so kawaii. Ahsan and Azzam are their name, two toddlers who are so noisy, but they're truly smart because their gens from their parents that are doctors. I also met my older sister and my aunty. And I think that's still not pretty enough.
   Honestly, I can tell you more about my holiday trip from Bogor to Surabaya, since it was really a "nice" trip ever compared to the others. That it was different-but-thank-God. And yes, my train is trapped in floods. I was almost late. Waiting and everything was delayed. Alone and then met someone. I really should grateful what I got at the time, Allah never leaves me alone.
   Scared.
   How is your feeling when you go to somewhere you like and then you get a message, it tells, "Check your Macro's score now at KRS!" Ruined my mood who wanted to enjoy between my books. I was such a stress people in Gramedia. When everyone checked or read book, I surfed the internet, visited my KRS, checked my score, and.... tadaaaah. I just need to be patient. From 4 to.... well, indescribable. Only because of my minor and two interdepts' score. Great.
   And how busy I was when I came home and I had to face my annual activity there. Being so busy until I couldn't control my schedule any longer. Feeling so blamed because I couldn't stay at home for longer times. I couldn't take my mom out because of my super business.

   Sad.
   It's the most feeling I felt up until now. Just a week at home, my holiday seemed too early to be ended. I still miss my mom, my dad. I really want to meet my younger sister and the one I'd like to meet the most. I miss holding my warmest blanket, reading my books, visiting Gramedia and spending a little of my savings for my guilty pleasure. I still want to do a lot of things, but seems the time doesn't care about it all.
   And the saddest thing, all of my target for the beginning of this year is... messing up.

Well, those what I truly felt in my 3 weeks of holiday, lol.