Can I Tell You Something?

   I shouldn't open my blog and post this because I have to finish my papers for tomorrow. But, I couldn't stand anymore, so I just let my finger click 'New Post' once again. I'm just coming home from my course and still wear my T-shirt and my jeans when I write this. It's not important, by the way.

   So, I was a bit confused for titling this post. The topic is almost the same like my post a year ago, titled Unrequited Love. And absolutely I won't give the same title for this time.

   My deskmate and I got an Indonesian task, describe an autobiography and a biography. So, based on the discussion of my deskmate and I, I got the autobiography to be done. And I decided to describe Marmut Merah Jambu because I think it's an autobiography.

   When I reread the autobiography of Raditya Dika, I felt something like the first time I read the book. This book mostly tells about love and unrequited love. Suddenly, it reminded me to my post I posted a year ago. I felt so complicated. I felt like an empty heart. I remembered all the things I used to feel. It hurt me much.

   And when I read a quote "Nothing takes the flavour out of peanut quite like unrequited love." I felt... #deepbreathe. Even I can't describe my own feeling. I remembered EVERYTHING. And I absolutely AGREE with that quote. Until right now. Because I used to feel it. And, once again, it hurts me so bad. Until right now. When the memory comes.

   And what I can't stand more is... feels like... I want to tell someone about it. But I can't. Even just a simple question like the title above:

Can I tell you something?

   I may say, unrequited love is never ever fun. It hurts everyone hearts so bad. But you won't feel the highest level of your love journey if you haven't felt this way. It teaches you EVERYTHING, more than you ever know or expect. And you will find so many meanings of your struggles, your feelings. It's more than just a satisfaction.

   And once again, deep in my heart, I was crying.

   No, I'm crying.