Dear, Boy...

Wahai calon imamku yang tampan,

Aku tidak mau berkata banyak. Saat ini mungkin aku telah menemukanmu. Kau pun juga telah menemukanku. Semua itu bukan karena kita, tetapi karena Allah lah yang mempertemukan kita disaat yang tepat. Jujur aku akui, aku mencintaimu dan menyayangimu dengan ikhlas dan sederhana, semua karena Allah. Tanpa campur tanganNya, mustahillah pertemuan ini akan terjadi. Semua itu atas kehendakNya. Segala peristiwa demi peristiwa yang telah terjadi sudah menjadi konsep ceritaNya yang telah Dia tuangkan dalam bukuNya sehingga menjadi sebuah cerita dimana kau dan akulah yang menjadi lakonnya. Maka ingatlah selalu “Kun fayakun”, maka jadilah engkau”

Finally, It's Over

   It was Friday afternoon and I was at home. No school, just stayed at home. And someone suddenly messaged me. And asked me something that surprised me. Something that she never asked for a long time, around two years. It was about my boyfriend.

I'm So Bored! Please Listen To My Heart!

   I'm lack of attention. That's what I feel. I know I'm so busy these days and being so anti-social. But, between my business, I need someone to pay attention to me. Whoever they are! I've been so tired, my brain, my energy is decreasing. And this morning, I didn't have breakfast because there was sudden guests at the dining room, enjoying their breakfast. And what I could do was just stay at my room or help my mother taking care of the guests. I don't really like to have a meal while there's guest at the dining room, except people I know. It's such a awkward moment when you enjoy your meal and your unknown-guest is in front of you, talking with your mom or your dad. For some people, maybe it's just fine. For me, I'm totally not enjoying this moment. Usually, I enjoy my meal when they already leave my house.
   And due to this, my head is like a spinning coaster. I've got a terrible headache since this morning.

Little Things About Me

   This girl, named Retno Puspita Kadarman Wicaksono, or you can call her rerett or just rett or, if don't mind, Astro, is such a high dreamer. Yes, me. I'm a high dreamer. I always dream to be a successful woman in  the future and get what I really want, what I really need. It's just a simple fact about myself.

Welcome To April = Welcome To Hell

   I'm so grateful that I can bring my laptop back to its early place and being online. I've put it o my room for 2 weeks, to avoid me going online, lol. Well, I never can stand to not going online and write on my blog. I have sooo many stories to tell, but I have no time to do it. I really want to share about my birthday moment this year, but those HELLS are waiting and I have to be focus! Until I don't realize that it's already April. Hells are coming up and my willing to write on my blog is bigger and bigger. I've been so bored with all of those kind of try outs. National exam is two weeks later, and this week is my last week having try outs. TWO kinds of try outs on the same time.

Beautiful Day? Absolutely, NOT!

   So, today is the end of the local examinations. After 7 tiring days, finally, it ends today. And, I won't meet civics. I won't meet sport. I won't meet religion. I won't meet any lesson, but the language and science, only. The National Examinations will start at the next 3 weeks, 16 April to 19 April 2012. And I have no perfect preparation for physics. And biology. And mathematics, also chemistry. Also Indonesian. And English vocabularies *damn! That is all of them! -.-"

Kita-Jaman-Alay

   This morning, I opened my tumblr and I read someone's post. She quoted someone's talk. Then I got an idea. I tried to remember all my precious words. From my first love to my boyfriend. I didn't get a lot, especially from my first love. I got a bunch from my boyfriend.

Thanks God, YOU Bring Him To Me :)

   And, may I say, the last "problem" with him that started 2 weeks ago is the loonggeessst problem that we ever head. I was silent, so was he. I was disappointed, and so was he. I was angry, sadly, he was too. But we felt the same feeling because of different reasons. Maybe he did that because of my attitude that suddenly ignoring everything, including him. Also, my different reaction between when I met him and when we were texting, and I don't know what else. And I did that because his fault. We were on misunderstanding, also on miscommunication. I know and I'm so sorry that finally I can't do my promise, that I will tell him every problem about us, about everything. I know I'm such a hypocrite. But I have reasons and I've told him. I was so tired of being the first who tell what the problem is. Sometimes, I wanted him to ask me, and I was waiting for that moment. Because I didn't want to just tell everything on messages, I needed to tell it directly, somehow. And I also wanted to see how care he is with me because I've felt something wrong, something that is not totally him. I was afraid that there's a change in him, in his feelings. And I was afraid to lose, to feel falling again. I was not ready for that. So, I waited for a week. And finally, he texted me. Beg for apology. And I still couldn't say anything, say the reason. Until now, I haven't told why I did it to him. Why I was so disappointed to him. I guess, if he know why, he will laugh. But I think it's not that simple for being "fine".

It Has Been So Him Lately

   Feels like I'm a super-duper-busy girl with hundreds of exams and tasks (too much). I have no time to post anything here. Usually, I just open it, check the stat, and leave it. I really wanted to share everything, but I couldn't find any right time to realize it. So, I think now is the perfect time.

   Btw, that's just a monologue.

My Awkward Moment This Month

   It's been almost a week since I wrote my last post at this blog and also My Life My Story. The last moment when I wrote my post was when I felt such awkward feeling to my bf. Yeah, and now we're still okay. We're survive. And I don't want to think too much of it right now. At least, not in these situations.

   Btw, it's already February and my time in High School is getting shorter. February is a really wet month. I love it for some reasons and also hate it for other reasons.

   I've been vacuum because I had certification exams for 4 days, and it spent my most times. And I was not that fine. I was a bit rude, as usual, because I got boredom. Too much. And felt like I was dying with such boredom. Wanna read my story? Click here!